Do you know what happens if you fail to plan and you suddenly become unable to make decisions for yourself? If you don’t have a valid Health Care Proxy or Durable Power of Attorney, the court will likely appoint someone to make decisions for you through a Guardianship or Conservatorship proceeding.
That person could be a complete stranger. They will have the power to decide where you live, what medical care you receive, who can visit you, and how your money is spent. They may sell your assets, access your financial accounts, pay your bills, and file your taxes—all without knowing you or your wishes.
A Stranger Making Your Decisions
As an Elder Law Attorney in Boston, MA, I have been appointed by the court many times to serve as Guardian or Conservator for seniors who never put a plan in place. I have been the “stranger” walking into a hospital room, introducing myself as someone’s new legal decision-maker.
Imagine meeting someone for the first time when you’re sick, confused, or frightened—and being told that person now has legal authority over your life. It’s not what anyone would want.
I always try my best to protect their independence and dignity. But I can’t help wishing we had met earlier, before the crisis, when we could have created a plan to ensure their wishes were known and respected, and I could have known who they were and what mattered to them.
The Scavenger Hunt
Without planning, my role often feels like putting together a puzzle with missing pieces. I have to track down what is important to someone, what they own, and who matters in their life.
- One woman hid money in a series of ten nested bags, like Russian dolls.
- Another man forgot he even owned a vacation home—until a neighbor casually mentioned it to me. When I investigated, I discovered the home abandoned and taken over by raccoons.
These cases are fascinating but heartbreaking. A person’s life shouldn’t have to be pieced together by a stranger after they lose their ability to speak for themselves.
The Better Way: Planning Ahead
There is a better way. With a Health Care Proxy and Durable Power of Attorney, you remain in control by choosing the people who will step in if you need help. Guardianship or Conservatorship is usually unnecessary if these documents exist—unless your chosen agent acts against your wishes.
The challenge for many solo seniors is not having family or close friends they can trust. In these cases, a professional fiduciary may be the best option. At Solo Allies, we are building a directory of professionals to support seniors, by serving as Health Care Proxies, Powers of Attorney, and other fiduciary roles. Unfortunately, it is currently difficult to find a professional Health Care Proxy. We will continue to work on adding resources.
Why It Matters
Most of us hope to remain independent and die peacefully without ever needing help. The reality is that most people will need some level of support at some point—sometimes only briefly, but sometimes for longer.
Planning doesn’t need to be perfect. It just needs to be good enough for now. A basic plan protects your autonomy, avoids unnecessary court involvement, and ensures your wishes are honored.
Ask yourself:
- Do I have a valid Health Care Proxy and Durable Power of Attorney?
- Does someone know where to find these documents in an emergency?
- Has my doctor been given a copy of my Health Care Proxy?
Take the First Step Today
The worst time to plan is in the middle of a crisis. Don’t leave your future in the hands of a court or a stranger. Take a simple step today: create your plan, share it with someone you trust, and keep your documents accessible.
Visit www.soloallies.com to explore planning tools and find professionals near you who are ready to help.
Planning today protects your independence tomorrow.