The terms "Solo Senior", "Solo Ager", "Orphan Elder", and "Aging Alone" are all used to describe individuals who plan on aging without the support of family to rely upon. Personally, I prefer the term "Solo Senior". It conveys a sense of independence that is at the heart of being a solo senior.
At first glance, many people may not seem to fit the definition of a solo senior, but upon closer examination, they do. A solo senior could be married and have children, but for various reasons, they cannot count on their spouse or children to be there for them in a crisis. Perhaps their spouse has serious health problems, their children have a disability, live far away, or are simply not responsible. A solo senior may also be someone who simply feels alone. To better understand the concept, let's look at a few examples of solo seniors I have met along the way:
1. Mary: The Independent Widow
Mary is a widow in her late 70s. She has two children who live in different states and are busy with their own families and careers. Mary is fiercely independent and doesn't want to burden her children with her needs. She has a few friends and is active in her community, but she knows that if a health crisis arises, she will be largely on her own.
2. John: The Solo Spouse
John's wife has been living with Alzheimer's for several years. While he has adult children, they live far away and have their own families and responsibilities. John is the primary caregiver for his wife and manages all household responsibilities. Despite having a family, John is essentially a solo senior.
3. Susan: The Never-Married Solo
Susan is in her 60s and has never been married. She has a successful career, a vibrant social life, and a close-knit group of friends. However, she has no children and no immediate family nearby. Susan is a solo senior by choice and is proactive in planning for her future needs.
4. Robert: The Solo by Circumstance
Robert is a divorced man in his 70s with no children. His siblings live in different countries, and he has a few nieces and nephews he sees only during the holidays. Robert didn't plan to be a solo senior, but he finds himself in that situation due to his circumstances.
5. Lillian: The Last One in Her Family
Lillian had three sisters who she was very close with and loved very much. Her sisters have all died now and she is the last person in her family alive. She has a few distant cousins, but that is all. Even though she was there to take care of her sisters, she has no one to take care of her. She knows that she needs to plan in advance to ensure she will have the support she needs as she ages.
6. James and Judy: The Married Couple without Children
James and Judy have been married for over 50 years. They never had children and they don’t live close to their siblings, who they rarely see. Either James or Judy will be a solo senior, depending upon who outlives the other.
These examples illustrate the many faces of solo seniors. They may be married or single, have children or not, but what they all have in common is the need to plan for a future where they may not be able to rely on family for support. If you identify as a solo senior, remember that you are not alone. There are resources and professionals available to help you navigate this journey. Visit SoloAllies.com for more information, resources, and a directory of professionals and services to support you. Our mission is to help solo seniors thrive. We're here to support you every step of the way.